I remember myself as a Siddha Yogi new to the path having a heartfelt conversation with my mother at the kitchen table. She was sharing that through many decades of her life she never felt she had a sense of identity. She said, “I didn’t know who I was.”
While listening to her, I felt a wave of sadness flow through me. But, as my mother continued to speak, a most beautiful smile came across her face. She said, “Then one day, I saw a beautiful light within and knew that the light was me. For the first time in my life, I finally had a sense of identity. I was the light!” I witnessed my mother’s whole being filling with joy as she shared her life-transforming spiritual experience. Her happiness was contagious and filled my heart.
Now, after years on the Siddha Yoga path, by the grace of Gurumayi and my ongoing sadhana
, I embrace the same eternal truth within my heart. Although my Mom has passed on, I now share with her the same vision of the light within. I am the light!
a Siddha Yogi from New York
One day, during satsang
at the Siddha Yoga meditation center, I meditated by focusing on the heart for a while. Then I saw a light sparkling in my heart. At first, I was not sure if the light was actually manifesting on its own, or if my mind was producing it. However, as I continued to look at it, the light shone very brightly. I found myself weeping profusely. This was my first experience of seeing the light within.
a Siddha Yogi from Bangkok, Thailand
I had been concerned about not seeing light in my meditation. I inwardly asked Gurumayi for her grace to illumine my understanding. Soon after, I was drawn to Baba’s book Conversations with Swami Muktananda
. I opened it straight to the page on which Baba was saying, “The experience of the bliss of the Self that springs up from within during meditation is the true light.”
I understood that while visions of light are direct and wonderful experiences of the Self, the experience of bliss is also a true experience of the light of the Self. I was so relieved, because my meditations are filled with the peaceful bliss of the Self and the pulsations of the shakti
. After my meditation this morning, as I reveled in the bliss that was flowing through my being, I happily repeated with great joy, "I am filled with the light of the Self! I am filled with the light of the Self!"
a Siddha Yogi from California, USA
Some years ago, as I was meditating during a Shaktipat Intensive, I saw a very bright light coming down from above.
I was certain someone had inadvertently turned on the lights in the hall. But when I opened my eyes to see the light outside, it was still dark in the hall. When I closed my eyes, I once again saw this bright light, almost like a spotlight, descending.
At the time, I did not realize this light was my Self. But I knew I felt highly blessed and comforted, and at peace with this light bathing "me." Now I see that the reason this light comforted me so much—and still does even now, as I relive the memory—is that this is my true Self.
Thank you, Gurumayi, for the experience then and for the understanding now.
a Siddha Yogi from Washington, USA
Many years ago, shortly after I received shaktipat
, I had the darshan
of my own Self during meditation. In my inner vision, a face appeared, smiling with love. Its contours were somehow made of light rather than something physical. Then I suddenly recognized the face. It was mine! It felt like such a sacred moment, and I was immersed in gratitude and wonder at this experience.
a Siddha Yogi from London, United Kingdom
Through the grace of my Guru, when I meditate—and even when I pause for a few seconds during the day to look inside—I see light scintillating within myself. This light, the light of the Self, fills me with wonder. It is brilliant, vast, full of auspiciousness, and beyond any words I can use to describe it. When I am present with this light, all I want to do is to sing its praises in worship. Silently, with all of my being, I call out Om Namah Shivaya
over and over again.
For me, there is no greater joy than this. My gratitude to my Guru is boundless.
a Siddha Yogi from Massachusetts, USA
After reading this verse and the Swamis’ letter, I wondered if the term “light of the Self” is literal or, perhaps, more metaphorical. Then I remembered occasions when I’ve emerged from very profound meditations and gone about my day actually seeing with my eyes a white light permeating everything. It is quite joyous to see everything bathed in this light. It makes the world seem more alive.
a Siddha Yogi from Iowa, USA
While I was reflecting on this verse, I had strong memories of the dramatic changes of perception that I experienced after shaktipat
. Before encountering the Guru’s grace, I was unable to meditate. In the days that followed my first Shaktipat Intensive, I experienced the awakened energy moving very strongly in my body. As I focused my attention on the shakti
, my mind was drawn inside and meditation occurred naturally. I learned so much in a short period of time about my inner Self and what would be possible for me to achieve through steady practice.
Over the years that have followed, there has been an ongoing process of purification, of breaking free of the tendencies and past conditioning that would hold me back from resting my mind in the Self. These days, the remembrance of the times I’ve touched that perfect joy and freedom impels me to remain steady in my practices, with the certainty that my goal is within reach through the Guru’ grace.
a Siddha Yogi from New Jersey, USA
This verse describes for me how my vision changed on the day I received shaktipat diksha
from Baba Muktananda. Baba was speaking to a group, and his eyes met mine briefly from across a room. In an instant, my perception changed. It was as if I had removed a pair of sunglasses I didn’t know I was wearing. Everything, even the grey city street and buildings, was blazing with light, made of light. The people were glowing and very beautiful. And most amazing, I understood that light was within me; I was seeing my own light reflected back in the world.
That day, I discovered that “seeing the light” wasn’t just a figure of speech. I wanted to live in the truth of that brief vision. And that was the beginning of an inner journey, the practice of Siddha Yoga meditation.
I am so grateful to Baba for shaktipat
. And I am grateful to Gurumayi for the immense generosity and creativity of her teaching that brings me back, again and again, to the light within, and to its reflection in my world.
a Siddha Yogi from Massachusetts, USA