Reflections

Read what Siddha Yoga students have gained through their study of the Daily Attributes of AUM.

I read the Attribute a couple of times, in silence and aloud. Then, I looked up the word "primordial" in a dictionary: the various meanings deepened my understanding of the word and of the sutra as a whole. I also memorized the Attribute by repeating it over and over again, and often during the day it would come up from within joyfully, like a friend.

Today I got the idea to sing the Attributes as I have some trouble memorizing them. So, I walked around the house and sang all of the Attributes. It was lovely and easy for me to do. As I walked and sang, I realized that I was instilling the Attributes into my form, so my body will memorize them. I loved that, and it makes me very happy when I think of it.

Engaging with the monthly abhyasa—to research the words of the Daily Attribute—I explored the definitions of the words and a few of the synonyms. I considered what resonated for me and how the words related to one another.

By engaging with the Attribute in this way, I recognized that AUM is a dynamic force within me that is constantly functioning. After writing this insight into my journal I began to follow my breath and drew my attention inward. Gradually, I felt a soft energy permeate my body. That energy expanded into a subtle closeness with the room around me. It was AUM resounding inside me! I decided that this sweetness was something that I wanted to carry into my study and the other aspects of my life.

From this time I have continued to utilize the monthly abhyasa. Additionally, I brought my own creativity to this practice by looking into the origins of the words and building connections between different Attributes. In this way I have developed my understanding of AUM and have become more present to the steady peacefulness of AUM within myself.

"How does the Attribute apply to the mantra Om Namah Shivaya?" I write down this question and start writing what comes up for me.
I cannot grasp an intriguing point: "gives energy…" How does AUM give energy to Om Namah Shivaya?

I realize that in my years of sadhana and engagement with the mantra Om Namah Shivaya, I have automatically focused on "Namah Shivaya" and its meaning, rather than AUM. I look in Baba’s autobiography Play of Consciousness, where he says, "all mantras are one…all are Om."

A new understanding of Om Namah Shivaya opens up: I start to see as the very essence of the mantra, the chaitanya mantra, Gurumayi has given to me. Om Namah Shivaya is in the form of AUM.

I decide to bring this understanding to my meditation practice this morning. As I meditate with the mantra Om Namah Shivaya, I visualize AUM giving energy to Namah Shivaya. In the beginning, it is quite mechanical, and my usual patterns of repeating the mantra are challenged. At one point the meaning of "gives energy" becomes clearer for me: giving energy requires attention and focus—it is an act of love.

"AUM gives itself" to Namah Shivaya with focus and love. I give myself to the mantra repetition with focus and love. It is a continuous flow of giving and receiving: the breath dances with the mantra, the mantra rides on the breath, then the two merge and there is only the awareness of infinite love.

I commit to bring this focus to all my daily activities. It is an inner stance more than an actual doing. A couple of moments in my schedule, I go back to the Daily Attributes and silently repeat the Attribute for a few minutes to reinforce my intention. Then all day I find myself approaching the different circumstances and interactions more lovingly and more effectively. I feel more connected to that space of fullness and lightness within, and a sense of balance and tranquillity pervades whatever I am doing.

One morning, after reading the Daily Attribute, I sat to meditate. During meditation, my mind was filled with thoughts about a challenging situation in my life. I silently repeated AUM with the intention to gently lead my mind back to the Heart. Then, I silently repeated the Attribute: "AUM is the eternal syllable." In meditation, I watched the play of thoughts and my efforts to bring my mind back to the Heart.

On emerging from meditation, everything I saw was luminous—a shimmering vibration contained within the syllable AUM. It felt as if the sound of AUM extended from my very Self, benevolently supporting everything. I realized that I could continue to see the world as the luminous play of the Shakti, even when facing difficulty.

Now, whenever I encounter the challenging aspects of this particular situation, I hold in my heart the question: how can I maintain awareness of that luminosity as I encounter this conflict? In this way, I become aware of the purity that resides within me, like the fresh, sparkling beauty of a spring day.

Already, I find that my way of communicating is more tender and compassionate. I also find that I'm becoming a better listener and coming to experience a new feeling of deep contentment.

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