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My Lord Loves a Pure Heart – Excerpt 28

by Gurumayi Chidvilasananda

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Recently I have started to closely observe times when anger arises. I have noticed that it often comes up in the course of conversations. Because of this anger, I tend to interrupt others, and my speech is not gentle, polite, or loving.

However, this has begun to change as a result of Gurumayi's teachings in this and other excerpts. Reading the shares from Siddha Yoga students around the world has also inspired me to alter my behavior. I am so grateful for this excerpt, which is helping me learn how to watch and let go of the anger that can bubble up while I am speaking. Since I have begun to consciously observe my tendency to feel anger, I have also made a concerted effort to see God in each person that I talk to. This is helping me greatly to achieve my intention to speak gently, politely, and lovingly to those I converse with.

Willemstad, Curacao

I truly believe that to become a mature human being, I need to first understand myself. To do that, I am convinced that I must pursue two practices.
First, I have to maintain the discipline to watch my emotions as they arise. When they arise, I must try to find out where these feelings—particularly negative ones, such as anger and desire—are coming from and what triggers them.
Secondly, as I do this I need to strive to keep my inner state stable and untouched by the emotions that are coming up.
It is my highest wish to have the discipline, supported by the Guru’s grace, to consistently follow through with these two steps. I believe that this will help me to attain mastery of myself.

Berlin, Germany

I am so grateful for this excerpt, which has helped to clarify for me the true meaning of discipline. It has inspired me to try and view the thoughts and feelings that often pop up within me as akin to the voices of needy, insistent children. Then when I practice the discipline to watch these emotions as they arise, I am better able to view them through a lens of compassion rather than blindly following them. This allows me to begin to separate myself from and ultimately release these feelings. When I do that, I feel free.
I am so thankful to always be supported by the Guru’s grace.

Oslo, Norway

This excerpt shows me the importance of always being aware of my feelings, of carefully watching the waves of energy carried by my mind and body, and of examining their “hue.” My mind can cover up the blue sky of Consciousness by the dark clouds of anger—or can brighten it by the white clouds of gentleness. 
If I stay in the realm of the Self while watching my thoughts and my breath, “the seeds of desire and anger” do not germinate. If I cultivate the virtues in the field of my mind, the virtues leave no room for the inner enemies, just like like alfalfa leaves no room for certain weeds. Somehow, I see my sadhana as a sort of “inner botanical research.” At first glance, the flowers of desires may seem beautiful but, once I identify them as such, I don’t let them proliferate. 
With discipline, I become the gardener of my heart.

Rodez, France

The mind is incredibly powerful and a very complex and tricky being. It took me a long time to learn to be able to observe my mind, and then another long time to be able to consciously intervene when it is creating something that is not good for me.

For me, the easiest way to hold my mind and its creations in check and to intervene early enough before it leads me into the depths of a swamp is to repeat the mantra Om Namah Shivaya. The mantra is my best friend and my emergency parachute when all else fails. 

Unterlangenegg, Switzerland

“The seeds of desire and anger” for me often arise out of simple physical tiredness. My out-of-balance body leads directly to a mind not at ease, which creates negativity without discrimination or any real cause. At these times, it’s important for me to witness what is happening, and remember that these thoughts and feelings are transitory and not real. With some good sleep, I will feel quite differently! I must then step back, witness, stay silent, and recognize my physical need for rest. With Gurumayi's grace, I am learning to practice self-love and patience with my body, and to come back to love more quickly through self-care at these times. 

Connecticut, United States

Just yesterday, for one unfulfilled desire my mind created such a drama! I felt unloved, I made my husband feel guilty, and I created a useless discomfort in our relationship.
Today, after reading Gurumayi's Excerpt 28, I realized how an undisciplined mind can create in an instant a crazy world of untruth and unhappiness. Thanks to Gurumayi, I now understand how important and vital it is to follow her teachings again and again, so as not to get lost in the world of delusion and illusions.

Milan, Italy

Teachings like these from Gurumayi humble me, and continue to inspire me to become a better version of who I was yesterday. 
My patterns and tendencies can feel at times like an ouroboros of desire and anger—a snake that consumes itself and is never sated. Still, little by little, by committing myself to the Siddha Yoga practices and teachings, I have observed positive changes in myself, which also affect my surroundings. These days, when I experience a familiar desire or a rush to anger, I can often catch this impulse and tell myself, “You remember the consequences of pursuing this course of action. Is there another way that will take you closer to your Self?” 

New York, United States

With this excerpt, Gurumayi is teaching me to take firm control of my senses during situations when my desires are thwarted, anger is bubbling up from within, and my mind is urging me to let it indulge in unpleasant thoughts.
At these times, I have learned—with some difficulty—over time to first pause, step back, and do some introspection by viewing the bigger picture of the situation from more than one angle. Whenever I do this, my breath slows down and in turn calms my mind. The outcome is good for all!

Nairobi, Kenya

Contemplating where the seeds of desire and anger start, I feel a memory of an old pain in my chest. Maybe it’s the pain of separation from God, separation from love. When I go deeper, I enter a thick silence and I also feel sadness. It seems that all the enemies of my heart come from the same root. 
As I focus on my breath and repeat the mantra, I feel connected with my Guru again. I am grateful to Gurumayi for this excerpt, which inspires me to contemplate such strong enemies of my life, and to check their seeds before it is too late.

New York, United States

Often, after spending time at a large, overcrowded mall and consuming takeout meals, my mind would be unconsciously clogged with unnecessary thoughts impacting my mind, heart, inner awareness, and even my sleep and my dreams. It was challenging for me to ride positive thoughts for long after such a visit.
I tried to “trace the footsteps” I had taken by replaying the sequence of events. I found that during that period, my glance had been wandering aimlessly, and the tendencies of my mind were focused on externalities rather than true principles and higher values.
Once I understood this, the next time I visited such a place, I would pray to Shri Guru first and prepare for the visit with the intention of having a vision of God within, perceiving others as an embodiment of the supreme Self—and avoiding those foods. When I follow this discipline, it helps me to understand the patterns of my mind, and to retain my focus on the inner Self, dwelling both within and without.

Sydney, Australia