Epilogue: Toward Love…

February 15, 2024

Dear reader,

By now, you will have read them. You will have listened; you will have let the music play under and over and behind your reflections. In celebration of St. Valentine’s Day, Gurumayi has given us Toward Love—an astounding collection of her teachings on love, one a day on the Siddha Yoga path website from February 1 through February 14, 2024.

The reason I’m so confident that you’ve engaged with these teachings is—you’ve said so! Or, to be more precise, you’ve been sharing your insights and experiences on the website. I’ve enjoyed reading your shares; while a lot of people will respond thoughtfully to the articles and books they read, I’ve found that there’s a special quality to what Siddha Yogis share. It’s evident that you take to heart what Gurumayi has taught about studying, practicing, assimilating, and implementing her teachings in your daily lives. And here, with Toward Love, you’ve done so in relation to Gurumayi’s guidance on love.

It’s fascinating; on the one hand, love is something we all know, understand, have experienced. We’re familiar with its many expressions, which can range from the ludicrous (who hasn’t heard of—or themselves made—a questionable decision in the name of love!) to the positively sublime.

Some years ago, I was having a conversation with Gurumayi on this very subject. I was asking her about a line from her poem for Deepavali 2022. Gurumayi had written: When you fall in love, every little thing in and around you is rendered in light. It was such a striking line, and I was intrigued by Gurumayi’s use of the phrase fall in love. This is language that’s generally associated with romantic love, yet I’d understood that the love Gurumayi is speaking of in this poem is not limited to that.

Gurumayi explained that she had very deliberately chosen this phrase. The experience of falling in love—that sun-strewn haze that descends over everything, that curious moment when it seems that all the stars in the night sky are as much within you as they are outside—it’s something that many people can relate to. And though this experience may arise in a specific context, something about it is elemental to love in general. In this way, it serves as a reference point for love as Gurumayi teaches about it. As Gurumayi further explained: “That spark of light you feel, the way your heart lifts when you look at a person, or even at a tree, or at anything—this is no different from divine love.”

So, there are many avenues, many points of entry to the experience of love, and we are well-acquainted with them. At the same time, it’s been my observation that there are a lot of misconceptions about love. Now, I’ll be the first to admit—I am always up for a good love story, or love song for that matter. (In my mind at least, I’m something of a connoisseur of the genre.) But what I’ve found in a lot of what I’ve read, watched, and listened to—and even in what some of the people in my life have shared with me—is a tendency to equate love with pain and suffering. The prevailing assumption seems to be that you can’t have one without the other. And insofar as storytelling goes, it’s always the conflict or uncertainty accompanying love that drives the plot forward, that is considered to be the main draw for the audience. Love itself, with its attendant feelings of joy, of peace, of belonging, never seems interesting or varied enough to dwell upon for very long.

Yet my own experiences of love, and especially love as Gurumayi has shown and taught it to me, would indicate otherwise. I remember once Gurumayi was explaining to me the nature of love, and the love of the Guru for the disciple. Looking directly into my eyes, she said, “I could never love you less.” She lifted her arm skyward. “This love can only ascend higher, into the stratosphere, through the cosmos.” She motioned to the ground. “This love can only grow deeper, into the very core of this earth.”

I couldn’t tell in that moment if the sky above me was opening (surely some angels had to be singing somewhere) or if it was the ground below shifting beneath my feet. But I did have a glimpse of it—the immensity of this love Gurumayi was speaking of, its infinite potential for expansion, its endless dynamism. I had spent so much time, I realized, wondering if love would be there for me at the end of the day—worrying about how long it would stay, when it might go away. The real question, though, was if I would recognize love—and then, what I would discover the more I explored its depths. The prospect was thrilling, invigorating.

Which brings me back to Gurumayi’s teachings on the Siddha Yoga path website. Toward Love. As I read your shares, I felt that you too had grasped this nuance about love, that you had understood that love exists beyond and apart from what the sages of ancient India call the “pairs of opposites” (pain and pleasure, loss and gain, the like). One of you, for example, wrote in response to the fourth teaching: “I discover that I must make the effort to recognize love as it is in order to experience it. . .Trying to overlay my preconceived notions of it will prevent my entry into its mystical presence and flow. . .It’s as if I am allowed to enter a magical kingdom all its own if I give into it.”

A number of you also related your understanding of Gurumayi’s teachings in Toward Love to your study of her Message for 2024. You came to a greater appreciation of what dignity entails, with one of you sharing: “In order to uphold dignity, I need to value love.” You spoke of being open to grace, and any insights, revelations, synchronicities this brings, as you continue on the path toward love. Most of all, your shares both spoke of and demonstrated the effort you’re making to remain connected to your divinity. You described your attempts to remember and move toward love as a means of maintaining that inner connection.

I’m inclined to agree with this description. Recently, I was speaking with two Siddha Yogis who are the parents of a young child. They told me that on one specific day in January, their son began to insist upon writing a poem about Gurumayi before going to bed. So, for the next several days, that’s what he did; he wrote a daily poem expressing his love for Gurumayi.

I smiled incredulously when I heard this story. You see, it was on that very day in January that Gurumayi had shared with me her wish to write daily teachings about love for Valentine’s Day. It was so clear to me—this little boy was in tune. And by honoring the love in his heart as he did, he was in his own way making sure he remained connected.

You might recall, it was Gurumayi who first spoke about love in relation to her Message for this year. On January 7, during the satsang via live video stream in honor of Shri Guru Gita recitation anniversary, Gurumayi asked the three Siddha Yoga Swamis in attendance to share their experiences of the Message. Gurumayi asked these Swamis to share because she knows that each of them makes a specific plan to practice her Message, and that everyone listening would, therefore, be able to gain useful insights from what they say.

True to form, all three Swamis gave very concrete and useful explanations. And I’d like to highlight what one of these Swamis, in particular, shared. After outlining his method of practicing Gurumayi’s Message, he spoke about how easeful it’s been for him to imbibe the meaning of the words—for example, Stand tall in your dignity. Then, in his characteristic manner, a mix of humor and humility, Swami ji said: “Well, dignity was never my strong suit, you know. So that was surprising.”

When Swami ji said this, Gurumayi laughed; he laughed; we all laughed! That was probably to be expected—this Swami, who is beloved by children and adults alike, has an uncanny way of bringing about joy wherever he is and wherever he goes. Everyone laughs when Swami ji is around.

After the Swamis took their seats, Gurumayi smiled and said, “I want to say something. Swami ji, you do have great dignity.” Gurumayi proceeded to explain that dignity comes in many different forms. In this way, she said, dignity is like love.

Gurumayi then posed the question: “What is love?” As we all pondered this, she gave some possible responses—the different things people might say would constitute love for them. I remember thinking that I would be content to just stay there, suspended in that moment, listening to Gurumayi speak about what love is and what it entails. Subconsciously, the wish was forming in my mind. And though it did not manifest right then, it did come to fruition in just a few weeks’ time, and in a manner more grand and beautiful than anything I could have imagined. Toward Love.

motif

On Valentine’s Day, we received the final teaching in Toward Love—the pinnacle, the culmination, the crème de la crème, as it were, of this truly incomparable set of teachings. I feel like we’ve been in a different realm entirely these last couple weeks, a kind of love-filled bubble where your, my, everyone’s proverbial cup runneth over. When the first teaching was featured on February 1, there was an upwelling of love in my heart—for everything and for nothing in particular, and most of all for Gurumayi. And then day two came, and day three, and day four, and each new teaching was my favorite, and the topography of my experience was the same but also changing—first it was a cascade of love I was feeling, and then a rushing river, and then the utterly placid sea. Each day, the love was expanding; each day, it seemed, my capacity for love was growing.

At this point, it feels impossible that this love could get any bigger—and yet, I have a sneaking suspicion that it will. For one thing, we can keep returning to the teachings in Toward Love. We can experiment with different ways of engaging with them. And might I suggest one particular sequence to try out? First read the teaching; then listen to it read aloud; and, finally, play the music as you reflect on what you have just taken in. As you’re listening to the pan flute and the amalgam of sound that surrounds it, stay open to what comes up for you—what ideas or images come into focus in your mind, what actions you’d like to take. The inspiration can and, I think it’s safe to say, will come in any form.

I’d also like to share with you a little bit about one of the designs that you’ll have seen accompanying Toward Love. Let me preface this by saying that almost always when you come across a design on the Siddha Yoga path website, there will be more to it than meets the eye. It will have specific symbolism, significance. And that’s certainly the case here—namely, with the image of a small branch of leaves that you will have seen below each teaching. (It is, moreover, the same kind of leaves that are on the design accompanying this letter.)

These are leaves from the kauri tree, which is native to New Zealand. Gurumayi shared with me that she was inspired by the story of one specific kauri tree, which is called Tane Mahuta in the Maori language, and is frequently referred to as the “God [or Lord] of the Forest.” It is estimated to be approximately two thousand years old. “For all these years,” Gurumayi said, “out of its love for this planet, this tree has been standing.”

Another point of note about the designs on the Siddha Yoga path website is that, as much as possible, we try to take the support of all the wonderful Siddha Yogis who have been to those regions of the world whose flora, fauna, and artwork we might wish to feature. Often, we also look to what is housed in the Shakti Punja archives. Sandeep Knoesel, the SYDA Foundation Website Department Head, shared with me that when he received Gurumayi’s request for the Toward Love designs, he immediately knew whom to contact—he had family that had visited this sacred site in New Zealand, and he knew of several other Siddha Yogis who might have gone there as well. Soon enough, photographs came flowing in from people, a moving example in its own right of how love can arrive through so many different channels—and how the promptings of that love can be embedded in the folds of our memory.

Returning, now, to Tane Mahuta: could there be a more apt symbol of love? Like this legendary tree, love is ancient. Like this exalted tree, love is new, continually regenerating. Like this tree—a deity, in Maori lore, of forests and birds—love gives shelter; love is a springboard for flight. Like this tree, mythologized as the creator of mankind, love gives essence to the human soul. Love is epic like this tree. Love is iconic like this tree. Love is, was, and will ever be.

Several of you, in your shares, picked up on Gurumayi’s classic words from her book My Lord Loves a Pure Heart: “In the beginning, love. In the end, love. In the middle, we have to cultivate virtues.”1 I can see why you’d think of these words as you consider what it means to move toward love.

Sincerely,

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Eesha Sardesai

1Swami Chidvilasananda, My Lord Loves a Pure Heart: The Yoga of Divine Virtues (S. Fallsburg, NY: SYDA Foundation, 1994), p. 139.

 

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    Reading this Epilogue inspired me to focus on one of the “Toward Love…” teachings each day for fourteen days. This is my way to review and imbibe the many-faceted gems imparted in these teachings.

    When I began to do this, I read the first teaching, listened to it spoken aloud, and immersed myself in the sound of the accompanying music. Then I felt drawn to conclude this practice by reading all the shares submitted on this teaching by fellow Siddha Yogis. When I tried some of the ways people shared about how to contemplate or approach the teaching, it produced amazing results. The shares also inspired me to create more ways to approach the teaching.

    I am filled with gratitude for all the seekers of the Truth that have shared their experiences and insights on Gurumayi’s “Toward Love…” teachings on the Siddha Yoga path website. Reading these shares is helping to support and uplift me in my intention to move “toward love.”

    Washington, United States

    The “Toward Love…” teachings give me so much that I can delve into and work on. It touches me to know that, as I do so, I can be sure that I will be supported in my efforts by Gurumayi’s grace. I am currently realizing how much contemplating these teachings can give me access to my own divinity, and at the same time enhance my humanity. They lead me back to myself, into my very deepest heart.
    While the last two years have been full of challenges in my personal life, I feel that these teachings are helping me to refocus my attention on love in all its forms. It never fails to move and amaze me that Gurumayi’s love is always there for me, no matter what. I hope that my gratitude for these teachings continues to grow and that I always remember them and resolve to contemplate them as a practice.

    Gottmadingen, Germany

    Before I began my meditation practice this morning, I watched the play of light within the gorgeous, spinning heart. As I did so, it seemed to me that this was a symbolic representation of a pure heart. I further reflected that Shri Guru’s teachings in the “Toward Love…” series are taking me on a journey of grace toward my own pure heart. I believe that this process is allowing my heart to receive and send more light, in virtually endless permutations. I am so grateful for Shri Guru’s teachings, for the Siddha Yoga path, and for Siddha Yogis worldwide and the light they constantly share.

    Tennessee, United States

    I so appreciate the gentle recommendations in this rich epilogue. Because of the encouragement to continue studying “Toward Love…,” I go to the website first thing in the morning before meditation. This morning the spinning crystal heart drew my focus. I gazed at it and then read website shares about the crystal heart before meditating. After meditating, I alternated between meditating with eyes closed and opening my eyes and taking in the movements and colors of the heart. The more I gazed, the brighter the colors became. The blues, yellows, and greens became small brilliant suns. And when I closed my eyes, I realized my breath was repeating Hamsa, Hamsa, Hamsa.

    North Carolina, United States

    Today after my morning meditation session, I was contemplating the teachings on love on the Siddha Yoga path website. Suddenly I felt my body shift. Even though I was sitting, I felt like I was standing, and my body moved; it felt like taking one step to the side. This small inner movement brought me a different perspective. I looked around my bedroom, at my hands, at the window, and I felt the world no longer had a solid and tangible feeling to it; the world around me felt softer. I felt I was inside a different place, like I was inside love. I thought, “I am inside the heart of God; the world is the heart of God.” My mind was so surprised about this spontaneous and easy shift, and I was trying to analyze the experience. Then I said to myself, “Just focus on the love. Just focus on the love.”

    Sutton, Canada

    Today, before morning meditation, I read one of the shares responding to “Epilogue: Toward Love.” In it, the author recalls a moment when Gurumayi asked a man, “Are you in love?” When the man did not answer, Gurumayi said, “Why are you hesitating? You love your Guru, you love God, so you are in love!” I began to contemplate what I had read.
     
    I walked upstairs to my meditation room. Before sitting down on my asana, I looked out the window to see the freshly fallen snow covering rooftops and sweetly coating the branches of the pine trees. I could feel my heart full of love for the beauty that was present all around me. So quiet, so perfect. I realized that being in love may not always be how I think of it, but it is there in my everyday life if I open myself up to approaching love simply as it is.
     

    New York, United States

    I now understand that love is an entity by itself, moving of its own accord, notwithstanding my attempts to make it conform to my master plan.
     
    Once, in Gurudev Siddha Peeth, I could  perceive only my sad emotional state. I asked another sevite, “Why are all my efforts toward love going to waste?”
     
    “Can love ever go to waste?” she replied.
     
    With her teachings on “Toward Love…” Gurumayi makes me recognize the love story I am actually in.
     

    Geneva, Switzerland

    Prayer of the Tree
     
    Plant my roots deep
    in the nurturing earth
    along the river
    of your love.
    Water me with kindness.
    Fill my core with green gifts to shower around me,
    flowers to bless the eyes, fruit to sweeten the tongue,
    trunk strong against the wind,
    branches to shelter the birds.
    May my roots always bow
    to the breathing will
    of your
    sustaining
    love.

    North Carolina, United States

    I grew up in a Siddha Yoga family. The Siddha Yoga path became my own path back in 1991. I remember being in Gurudev Siddha Peeth that year, and feeling so much love. I felt love was tangibly in the air. My heart was dancing and feeling very light.
     
    Someone asked me, “Why do you follow this path?” and I answered, “I feel love.” 
     

    New Jersey, United States

    Reading this epilogue reminds me of one sweet moment which took place in Shree Muktananda Ashram when I served on staff there. Gurumayi was talking to a group of people in the lobby of an Ashram building. Suddenly, she looked at one of the men and asked him, “Are you in love?”
     
    The man seemed to be taken aback by this unexpected question. Gurumayi then said, “Why are you hesitating? You love your Guru, you love God, so you are in love!”

    Russian Federation

    I am not done with these teachings on “Toward Love….” So I was grateful to read this Epilogue on how to continue to study, practice, assimilate, and implement these teachings. What prasad to have even music to help with these processes!
     
    I want all my being, my whole sadhana to be a living hymn to the kind of love Gurumayi is teaching me—one that gives for the sake of giving without wanting or needing anything, one that “restores this world, this precious endowment from the cosmos,” as Gurumayi prays in the fourteenth teaching.  
     
    I wish to receive and imbibe all that the Guru gives, knowing that doing so serves as the purest offering of love to the miraculous Siddha Yoga vision and mission.
     

    Washington, United States

    This Epilogue is full of heart, insight, delight, and direction! As for direction, I look forward to continuing to study Gurumayi’s Valentine gifts in “Toward Love…,” by following the suggestions in the Epilogue for doing so. I am excited at the idea that this effort could mean “The sky’s the limit” in unfolding grace!
     
    My heart is also completely ablaze after reading the author’s experience when Gurumayi explained how much she loves her. I spontaneously recognized this as the depth of Gurumayi’s love for me and for each of us in God’s creation.
     
    My prayer is to be so fully open to this exquisite love that Gurumayi describes, and to hold so fast to it, that there is no longer room for anything else except the truth of Gurumayi’s words: “Love is love is love is love.”
     

    Washington, United States

    This rich Epilogue leads me to further deepen my understanding of love. I know that when I believe the flow of love comes from an external object, I am in the clutches of maya, illusion. My mind, trapped by my senses, makes me believe that love is obtained through this object even if it is in my heart that I experience that love.
     
    It was only when, through my meditation practice, I experienced genuine, independent love that I came to the conclusion that the highest love is given by love itself and that love is the inner Guru.
     

    Rodez, France

    I want to share this poem inspired by Gurumayi’s teachings for “Toward Love….”
     
    The Guru’s love comes from the Guru’s heart. 
    Look within and you will always find it there in your own heart. 
    There in that crystalline realm you hear her: “I am here, I am always here.”
    Then you know, “I am home.”
     

    Washington, United States