Coming Full Circle

December 1, 2018

Dear readers,

Somewhere along the continuum of infinity this year began, and somewhere along that same continuum it is coming to an end. But then what does that mean, really, for it to come to an end? What if, instead, like the loops of a figure 8, your path is starting to bend just as you reach its seeming conclusion? You’re far from where you began, yet you’re also coming full circle. You’ve learned so much through your practice of Satsang, Gurumayi’s Message for 2018—yet each time you touch in, each time you pause and connect, you return to something you’ve long known.

We have arrived in December now, the final month of 2018. All across the world people are preparing to celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, and other holidays of the winter season. There’s a certain enchantment to this time, a mystique that pervades regardless of what we are celebrating or not celebrating, believing or not believing. Is it just us, or is there magic in the swirling snow globe that cooler regions of the world have transformed into? Is it just us, or is there an extra bit of warmth in the way people are interacting, their actions demonstrating the kind of true elegance that comes when one sees, really sees, another? Are we imagining it, or is our longing—for an unarticulated something, maybe love—more keenly felt at this time? It’s like a westerly wind traveling through our beings, making music wherever it picks up on a hollowness.

For many years, Gurumayi has requested that teachers and speakers in the SYDA Foundation give talks about God around Christmastime. It is such a beautiful request, and one that crystallizes precisely why this season has taken on the import that it has. For what, if not collective remembrance of the divine as manifest in love, light, peace—what, if not that, endows the atmosphere with special sheen in December? What is it that we perceive in acts of kindness if not an expression of the virtues, the sadguna we all find within, those myriad affirmations of what it is, fundamentally, that unites us and makes us human? What is it we hear in those quavering yet clear notes of longing if not a call for connection—and connection to that which is eminently within our reach?

We conclude this year, therefore, as we began it: by remembering God, by invoking divinity. Since the first day of 2018, when we received Gurumayi’s Message, we have been endeavoring to get in touch with the Truth in our own hearts, to recognize it in its various forms and hear it in the sounds of its many names. Our efforts have been guided, each step of the way, by Gurumayi’s teachings and grace.

We can approach the month of December with this in mind—the context of our sadhana up to this point. We can understand that, yes, reminders of God may seem particularly available to us at this time, and it is our conscious effort which makes the light of God shine forth in our awareness ever more brightly. We can keep creating moments of satsang—here, there, everywhere. We can continue, even now, to learn more about the Truth, what it feels and sounds like, the taste of its rasa: satyarasa.

This is, after all, a journey that goes on. It is why one can make progress even within circularity; why, for all its curving around, infinity remains infinite. Jnaneshvar Maharaj says, आत्मप्रभा नित्य नवी (ātmaprabhā nitya navī) — “The light of the Self is ever new.”1 Our efforts deliver us again and again to the same place, only for us to discover more wonders, more joys, more inspiration to chart the depths of. The year may soon be coming to a close, but our practice of Satsang, of acquainting ourselves with our own good company, of becoming awakened to the Truth of our own being—that never really concludes.

This month, as the winter holidays and their attendant flurry of activity approach, the Siddha Yoga path website will support you to create moments of satsang. You can begin by receiving Gurumayi’s Season’s Greetings for 2018—and then return to this exquisite greeting again and again throughout the month, as you will no doubt wish to do. Each image, each word, each symbol and shape and sound in this gift from Gurumayi holds meaning. It conveys Gurumayi’s love; it communicates her teachings.

Later in the month, the website will be featuring stories, a recording of the chant Rama Raghava, and a shanti mantra, or a mantra evoking peace. There will also be festive and interactive posts, such as the annual “Happy Holidays” gallery and a virtual holiday tree which you can decorate with ornaments that are reminiscent of Gurumayi’s Message for 2018.

In all these ways and more, then, we will celebrate the winter holidays together, as a sangham. Together we will conclude the year. And together we will begin another.

Yes—on Tuesday, January 1, 2019, we will join each other in the Siddha Yoga Universal Hall for Sweet Surprise. We will gather round, as spiritual seekers have for centuries, to receive the wisdom of the Master—wisdom which uplifts and transforms, which pulls back the veil of ignorance and points us toward a reality more genuine and joyful than that which we’d become habituated to. Gurumayi will be imparting to us her Message for 2019, and we, all of us, are so incredibly fortunate.

More information about Sweet Surprise 2019, including ways to prepare, will be available soon on the Siddha Yoga path website.

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I’d like to close this letter, and this wonderful yearlong correspondence we’ve been having, by sharing a story with you.

It was New Year’s Eve of last year, December 31, 2017. It was the meeting point of another beginning and end, a cusp, a threshold, our previous turn around the bends of eternity.

A few other sevites and I were accompanying Gurumayi to the Bhagavan Nityananda Temple for evening worship. We had happened to meet her while she was walking through the Upper Lobby of Anugraha. When she asked us where we were going, we each said, in succession and with mounting excitement: “Wherever you’re going, Gurumayi!”

The sky was dark as we walked along the passageway to the Temple, the sun having wrapped itself in the silk of night some time before. Strings of winking lights looped around a nearby banister. From some seemingly faraway place, a room off the lobby perhaps, we could hear strains of laughter.

We followed Gurumayi into the Temple. One by one we brought forward the offerings for worship—the fragrant oils; the kumkum, sandalwood paste, turmeric, and rice; the piles of rose petals unspooled from their stems. Silence cloaked the inside of the Temple, yet there was a vibrancy to it, and a cushiony kind of gentleness. We watched, enrapt, as Gurumayi anointed Bade Baba’s paduka with the different oils and pastes, and then as she gathered bunches of rose petals in her hands. She released the petals over the paduka, the flowers forming a ceaseless ribbon of color.

Earlier that day, in a satsang in Shri Nilaya, Gurumayi had requested that some of the young men dance during the namasankirtana. When Gurumayi later asked one of the musicians if he’d felt any envy watching them dance (he’d been playing the flute at the time), he shared that yes, in fact, he had wanted to dance—he loved dancing.

This musician was among the group in the Temple that evening. And his wish, the one he had expressed so sincerely before his Guru just a few hours prior, was about to come to fruition. Gurumayi invited us to dance.

The chant Om Namo Bhagavate Muktanandaya, in raga Bhupali, streamed through the Temple. Its melody whirled about us as we began to move in a circle around Bade Baba’s murti. Traces of khus, one of the oils used during the worship, lingered in the air; its sharp, intoxicating scent cocooned us in a sort of otherworldly realm, one where I imagine meaning is communicated chiefly through fragrance.

And—we danced. We danced with Gurumayi, before Bade Baba, chanting Baba’s name. Some people twirled around in long, slow circles, the meditation of the dervish. Some people took strong, steady, purposeful steps, the ground under their feet lending power and conviction to their movement. Some of us had our arms aloft—in exaltation of, and in conversation with, a God who was everywhere and so immediately present.

I looked at Gurumayi, at her soft smile, as she danced with us. In that moment, something in me came undone. Or—who knows? Maybe it was just ushering itself to a more authentic place inside. We were each moving in our own way, yet we were also moving in harmony, attuned to some transcendent force carried on the lush swells of the chant. We were each communing with God in our own way, yet we were doing so together, in the company of the Siddhas. There was this feeling of unbounded space—between us, around us, breathing into the many tunnels and chambers and unknowable pathways within. And it was because of her, our beloved Gurumayi, that we could have such an experience. It was because of her wisdom, and her grace, that we could recognize this experience for what it was.

On and on we danced, I can’t say for how long. At some point we must have spun off into the night, each of us going our separate ways. But then I wonder—did we really? Or is our dancing saptah still playing out on some distant star in this far-flung universe, in some gorgeously lit crevice of the human heart? Is it going on right here? Right now? With all of you?

For on and on we have been dancing, you and I and everyone seeking a Truth that has always been ours to know. On and on we will continue to dance, in satsang, in the company of the great ones, into infinitude.

Sincerely,

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Eesha Sardesai

1Jnaneshvari 6:23, English rendering by SYDA Foundation.

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    How beautiful it must have been that evening in the Temple at Shree Muktananda Ashram. As I read about it, I had the feeling that I was there dancing with my Guru, experiencing ecstatic harmony and the opening of inner pathways. I was filled with immense happiness and gratitude.

    I thank Gurumayi for always being with us—now, here, there, forever.

    Cuttack, India

    The words in this beautiful December letter created a dance in my mind and my physical body wants to join in. My heart is swirling in the same ecstasy as I visualize my Guru dancing to the glory of God in that infinite space where only love resides.
     
    Every word of this letter carries me to satsang within myself, with others, and with my Guru. May we continue to dance and dance into 2019!

    Maine, United States

    The transcendent nature of this beautiful reflection brought unexpected tears to my eyes. I recalled learning about Baba’s immense joy upon hearing nada, the divine inner sounds, and about his spontaneous dancing. I imagined how that same joy might have guided everyone who was dancing with Gurumayi.
     
    Deep gratitude fills my heart for the eternal beauty of the Siddha Yoga path and for beloved Gurumayi. 

    Wisconsin, United States

    I longed to dance while reading this letter. When I read about each person dancing individually, yet together, a sweet longing arose in my heart to dance with all of you, to dance with Gurumayi and Bade Baba. I could feel my subtle body give way to this dance. My heart is filled, and I feel the satisfying peace of this moment of satsang.

    California, United States

    Reading this letter was so exciting as I thought about the things I have experienced this year. As I read, I was swaying to the chant described in the letter and dancing in my mind’s eye. I felt so free and loved and loving. What a grand experience it is to follow this path! Life is exciting and full.

    In the past week I experienced the joy of sharing something I had with someone who needed it and receiving her smile filled with thanks. I wonder, did she feel my thanks that she let me welcome her in the giving? I thank God that I continue to grow on this glorious path of Siddha Yoga.

    Virginia, United States

    Reading this letter, I found myself gasping with its beauty, my eyes filling with tears. When I read that the writer could “imagine meaning is communicated chiefly through fragrance,” I remembered my great-grandmother’s soft face powder, the velvety sweetness of it, the fragrance of which has stayed with me my whole life.

    As I contemplated the writer’s understanding that it was “all because of her, our beloved Gurumayi, that we could have such an experience,” I realized how incredibly fortunate we all are to have our beloved Gurumayi in our lives. I feel such gratitude both for this life experience and for the divinely beautiful poetic expression it can evoke.

    Melbourne, Australia

    As I read the description of a few sevites’ spontaneous meeting with Gurumayi on New Year’s Eve 2017, and their offering of evening worship to Bade Baba, I was transported to a deep and joy-filled place in my heart. When I came to the end of the description, I realized that I could receive it as a gift, one that showed me a new way to express my own worship.
     
    Last night, as I began my own evening practice of chanting the divine name, I visualized myself in the Temple with Gurumayi, and I too made sacred offerings: fragrant oils, sandalwood paste, rose petals. And then in my mind and heart’s eye, I began to dance. As I was chanting, my hands spontaneously lifted in loving adoration of God and my Guru, and joy filled my whole being. This great joy carried into my meditation and later,  permeated my sleep.

    Arizona, United States

    When I read about the writer’s experience of dancing with Gurumayi in Bade Baba’s Temple on New Year’s Eve of 2017, I wept at the beauty of it, the feeling of transcendence, and the sheer bliss of communing in satsang.
    I also recognized that additional, exquisite joy that comes when we include our physical bodies so fully in that experience of satsang—by dancing to a namasankirtana.
     
    It reminded me of the experience I had last weekend at the Siddha Yoga Ashram in Sydney, during the culminating chant of the weekend of celebration that we held for the newly renovated meditation hall. Many of us rose and danced to the ecstatic chant Jay Jay Vitthala. And so I am reminded of how closely we are all connected as the wheel of time rolls on.

    Dulwich Hill, Australia

    The title of  this letter, "Coming Full Circle," resonated with me deeply, as I realized that was exactly how I have been feeling—professionally, personally, and in my sadhana— as 2018 draws to a close. Just as one chapter concludes, another begins. And yet, as the writer so imaginatively asks, are there any true endings or beginnings? Or is life a seamless dance, in which satsang can always be experienced?
     
    Near the end of the letter, the writer shares her experience about dancing with Gurumayi in these words: “I looked at Gurumayi, at her soft smile, as she danced with us. And in that moment, something in me came undone.” This phrasing perfectly describes my experience of satsang this year. Through Gurumayi’s teachings, and by trusting my inner intuition, I feel that I am gradually becoming undone—in a wondrous and beneficial way. As a result, I feel freer and more authentic than ever before.

    New York, United States

    Some part of me entered this world hoping that it would be filled with magic—that a mysterious and wildly beautiful “something more” would be present within my own being and in the world we live in. The December monthly letter reminds me of this wish—and its profound fulfillment through shaktipat diksha and the presence of a living Master in my life.
     
    I am delighted by  the “special sheen” that the December letter brings us, and grateful for the way the letter awakens us to its presence in the world around us.

    Oregon, United States

    The letter for this month at the culmination of 2018 brings me back to the first day of the year and to receiving Gurumayi’s Message. As I began to study and incorporate Gurumayi’s teachings about satsang in my life, I found that, like nature, my experiences this year had many hues and evoked a range of feelings. Some were sweet, festive, and exciting; others involved loss with sadness and tears.
     
    When I took time to reflect on each experience, I learned that, regardless of the changing conditions, I could find the essence of satsang in it and savor each event just as it was, without fear. With gratitude, I found that I could experience the heart of Gurumayi’s Message in every twist and turn in my life.

    New York, United States