Gurumayi spoke about the Truth being the same for all of us, no matter what religious or spiritual tradition we follow. She explained that it is the same regardless of the language we speak, the skin color we have, or the manners we exhibit.
As she went on to say:
The Truth is the same. We all want goodness, we all want kindness, we all want sweetness. We all want communication. If you feel true love for someone, it’s all right to tell them, “I love you. I have appreciation for you. I appreciate you.”
There’s nothing wrong with saying something nice. Believe me, you can always say something nice to someone. And even if they’re not in the mood to receive it, at some point they will remember what you said to them. They will say, “What a nice person, who told me that I am good, who said that they appreciate me.”
Your words come to their aid at a time when they need them the most. When you spread goodness, you might not get the credit, the acknowledgment, right away. That’s all right. When you plant the seed of goodness, it will eventually grow into a maha tree, a great tree.
Among the many things that stood out to me when Gurumayi gave this teaching was her tone of reassurance. It seems so simple—to tell someone that you love them and that you appreciate them, to spare a few kind words for them. And yet Gurumayi was telling us repeatedly that it’s all right to extend such kindness, that there’s nothing wrong with doing this, that we can believe her when she imparts this guidance to us.
I don’t think I appreciated just how much we—or at least I—needed this reassurance until Gurumayi said these words. That was a revelation in itself! Why is it, I wondered, that we hold back on expressing our love for others? What stops us from sharing what we genuinely admire about them? How do we, intentionally or not, make the gulf between ourselves and the person next to us wider and wider and wider?
My working conclusion is that it often comes down to self-consciousness. From the time we are infants, we learn to modify, even inhibit, our behavior based on the responses we receive—or expect to receive!—from others. The need to belong is deeply ingrained in us. It is biological, a means of ensuring our survival (especially when we are very young) and, by extension, the survival of our species.
As we get older and become more self-sufficient, the stakes change. Our physical well-being is less dependent on the acceptance of others. The consequence of “sticking our necks out”—which might, for example, mean making a bid for connection without any guarantee that it will be met—is generally not so dire.
Still, the specter of rejection looms large. It is a powerful deterrent. We might second-guess our natural impulse to acknowledge someone, to share with them why we think they’re wonderful, because we don’t know how they will receive our words. We might think, “Am I close enough to this person to be making such an acknowledgment? Am I imposing on their time? What if hundreds of people have already told them the same thing? Surely, they must know this about themselves. Do they really need me to tell them as well?”
These questions are not entirely unfounded. As I mentioned earlier, we learn from experience to adjust our behavior in response to others; we come to compromise our innate expression because at some point or another, that behavior, that expression, may have been met with dismissiveness or disapproval. And yes, we do want to be mindful of how and when we express our appreciation of others. The words we use are important. Being courteous is important.
But I think we want to be careful not to hide behind supposed courtesy, or to take past experience as a determinant of what will happen now, in the present. We also devalue ourselves when we tether our actions in this way to the perceptions and reactions of others. What is more, in the process we often wind up denying the world of our goodness.
I am reminded of a story that Gurumayi tells in her book My Lord Loves a Pure Heart. (You can also read the story on the Siddha Yoga path website, along with Gurumayi’s teachings about it.) In the story, two friends stop at a newsstand. One of them buys a paper, and when this man graciously thanks the vendor, the vendor simply stares back at him with a cold expression. Later, the man placidly tells his friend that the vendor is like this every night.
When the friend asks him why he continues to frequent this newsstand and be so polite to the vendor, the man says: “Why should I let him decide how I am going to act?”1
In the previous installment of “Meditation on Gurumayi’s Words,” I wrote about the inner stance we must cultivate if we wish to magnify auspiciousness in the world. Our persistence in being good to others, in showing our goodness to them, in acknowledging their goodness is as much a commitment to ourselves as it is a deed we do for them. It is a commitment to the worldview we have chosen—that is to say, what we want to make of this world, what we believe this world can be, and how we wish to move about it.
We can, once more, look to Lord Shiva as an exemplar of the qualities we’d like to emulate in this regard. Even among the Indian deities, Lord Shiva is heralded for his unstinting generosity. He gives and gives and gives, without judgment, without partiality, and all while he removes suffering. The Lord needs no reciprocation for his giving. He is Svayambhu, the one who is self-born, supremely independent, without beginning or end. He is Vishva-bheshaja, the universal healer, the medicine for all beings. He is Augharadani, the one who freely bestows blessings and knowledge.
Up to this point, I have described being good and kind as a wading into the unknown. We don’t always know how people will respond to us. As Gurumayi says, we might say something nice to someone, and they simply may not be in the mood to hear it. In her teaching, however, Gurumayi does not leave the matter there. She goes on to affirm that the goodness we show to others will stay with them. Our words will, as Gurumayi says, “come to their aid at a time when they need them the most.”
This classic saying from Aesop’s Fables comes to mind: “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” We have the assurance—from our Guru, no less—that our well-intentioned efforts will be received. The uncertainty we may have been grappling with—“Will they be receptive to my words? What will they say? What will they think of me?”—all of that is removed.
We can have the confidence that our efforts will lead to a positive outcome—if not now, then at some point in the future. In her teaching, Gurumayi gave a beautiful image of the maha tree, the great tree, that emerges from the seeds of goodness we plant. It recalled for me the Seven Generations Principle, a tenet of stewardship that is practiced in many Indigenous cultures, and which I first learned about from Gurumayi. It stipulates that when we take action, we ought to do so bearing in mind the wisdom of the past seven generations and holding the intention of benefiting the next seven generations.
Having shared all this, I am eager to hear what you think. We are all so different. Some of us are introverts. Some of us are extroverts. Some of us are quiet by nature. Some of us have exuberant personalities. Yet we all have value. What we all give has value. So I am very much looking forward to hearing your contributions.
How do you recognize the presence of the people in your life? How do you make space for them to be who they are, and to have their say? How do you welcome them into your sphere? How do you convey to them that they matter—that their thoughts and feelings matter—whether or not they’ve done anything for you, or for the world at large?
1Swami Chidvilasananda, My Lord Loves a Pure Heart (S. Fallsburg, NY: SYDA Foundation, 1994), pp. 109-110.
I want to thank Eesha for her beautiful recounting of Gurumayi’s teachings.
I was not able to be present for the satsang on Mahashivaratri, and I’ve been looking forward to reading Eesha’s installments, which are always imbued with so much care and research.
In reflecting on some of the questions Eesha poses at the end of “The Seeds of Goodness,” I recognize that I listen to the people in my life. I give them my time and listen to them with an open heart. If I feel my heart is conflicted or confused when they speak, I get curious and ask them more questions. When I perceive their amazing qualities shining through, I point them out to them. I like to be specific so they can really understand and feel my appreciation without a doubt.
Melbourne, Australia
Upon meeting someone recently, I felt alive with true love at many different levels of my being. She came into my life just at the right moment, and it felt like divine intervention. I had not felt God as a presence in my life until then, yet now I was strongly feeling this connection within.
Reading Eesha’s installment on “The Seeds of Goodness,” I realized that it’s okay to be vulnerable when I feel pure love for someone. It’s okay to fully express myself and not hold back. It’s okay to let the walls I have built over the years fall down.
I tell her how much I love, appreciate, and cherish her. I thank her for the love she has brought into my life. And I don’t want to change her in any way.
I am grateful to Gurumayi for giving me this strength.
Tennessee, United States
After contemplating this wonderful installment, I found myself responding differently to two friends in particular, who are sharing very challenging situations right now. Instead of offering my advice or opinion, I helped them to refocus on their own good qualities, strengths, and abilities. I saw how this relieved pressure and brought more hope and positivity into the conversation. I felt better responding in this way, too.
Because of Gurumayi’s grace and teachings, I now feel more able to do positive things for other people.
Vermont, United States
This teaching reminded me of a very hard period I went through for several years. At the end of this time, my confidence was low, but I needed to find a job. I couldn’t see why anyone would hire me, but I forged ahead and submitted my application for a job I thought I could do. To my great surprise, I was hired and began my training.
Every time I made a mistake and asked for help, my trainers always responded to my apologies with these words, “No, you’re good!” Then they would help me correct my process. I don’t know if these sweet folks could possibly understand how healing and beneficial to my soul those words were.
When I’ve been given opportunities to coach others, those same words flow from me now: “No, you’re good!” These are words I treasure. I see them as Gurumayi’s “seeds of goodness” dancing in joy!
Texas, United States
I learned this teaching from Gurumayi many decades ago, through her own example of seeing the light and greatness in all the people she encountered all over the world during her Teachings Visits. She was always present, attentive, appreciative, kind, and loving. I saw the way her love opened hearts.
One of the small ways I practice her teaching is by offering my gratitude to the maintenance men at our apartment complex. While I express my appreciation year-round, during the holidays I offer each one a small tip along with a card expressing my gratitude for their wonderful service and kindness. Most of them make an effort to thank me in person.
Toward the end of last year, I was sweetly surprised to see that one of the younger maintenance men had my card from the prior year pinned to the visor of his golf cart. He said he kept it there as a reminder that his work was appreciated. It touched my heart, knowing what a difference my simple kindness had made.
California, United States
It is so wonderful to hear Gurumayi speak about appreciating others. It is a practice I have done for many years, instilled in me by my mother, a woman who also taught me about love, kindness, and the gift of giving appreciation.
In a world where people often focus on what’s wrong about others, tear others down, and reward unkindness, I was an “ugly duckling” teenager, tall and lanky with drooping shoulders and head held down. Yet my mother always told me to hold my head up high, be proud of myself, and see how beautiful I was.
Thus, I have always known how important it is to lift people up. I tell them how beautiful they are, what kindness I see in them, how much I’ve enjoyed a brief moment of getting to know them, how inspired I am by them. It’s always so lovely to see their joy and surprise that someone sees goodness and beauty in them.
I am grateful to my beloved Gurumayi for reminding me of this sacred practice of appreciating and honoring others with kind words and love.
Leeds, United Kingdom
Throughout almost two years of working in service at a coffee shop, I have experienced daily brief interactions with people constantly coming in and out. The short exchanges and the small stories people share with me make me feel deeply human. I try above all to be kind, as I often see parts of myself in every person who walks through the door.
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the surprise of kindness when it comes back the other way and completely shifts my perception of the day. These moments fuel an ever-blooming wish within me to be kind. I never know who might need it, just as I’ve been in need without realizing it.
After receiving this beautiful reminder from Gurumayi’s words, I’ve felt a reassurance in my actions. By offering these brief acts of recognition to others, I feel that I recognize myself as well: in them and with them.
Hermosillo, Mexico
Yesterday, while in a queue at the grocery store, the elderly couple before me was having difficulties understanding the young cashier’s questions about their credit card, PIN, and email address.
The man turned and looked at me with apology in his eyes. In those beautiful blue eyes, I was able to see such huge wisdom and decades of experience that I could only smile at him.
The questions at the end of “The Seeds of Goodness” came to my mind. I offered the elderly couple my respect and patience. I pretended I was looking for something else to buy in order to give them the space to deal with the cashier without hurry or pressure. Finally, when they finished paying for and packing their groceries, I said goodbye and wished them a good day ahead.
I felt that with these “seeds of goodness,” a “maha tree” sprang up in my heart, and I experienced each line of Gurumayi’s Message for 2026 bearing fruit within me.
Naucalpan, Mexico
I love Gurumayi’s teaching about verbal kindness. It reminds me of what I learned from my loving mother at an early age.
My mother always complimented people, including strangers. For example, if she sought help from a stranger in a grocery store to reach for an item, she always thanked them, saying, “Thank you. You are a gentleman and a scholar.“ They would look at her in surprise and often respond with something like, “I’ll accept the ‘gentleman’ but not the ‘scholar.’” And they almost always walked away smiling.
Or in a doctor’s waiting room, where people often seemed serious and anxious, my mother would open a conversation with a compliment such as “What a beautiful child you have.” On more than one occasion, by the time we were called, the room was alive with people speaking warmly to each other.
I enjoy finding something to appreciate in another person and complimenting them with words like “What a beautiful smile you have.” I can feel the warmth in the air that my words create, especially when they are unexpected.
Florida, United States
It was so wonderful and affirming to hear Shri Gurumayi encourage us to share with others the things we most appreciate about them. I have recently learned what a beautiful practice this is, as it aids the listener as well as the one offering acknowledgment.
In recent years I have begun to look for and acknowledge the virtues in those around me. Not only does it uplift them, but it trains my mind to seek those virtues. I cannot help but find them whenever I look for them!
I am in hospice now, and I make it a practice to greet every caregiver, volunteer, and visitor with love and enthusiasm and to thank them for their light and compassion. This week no less than four of those people expressed acknowledgment for my own light and enthusiasm.
I am so thankful to Gurumayi for teaching me how powerful it is to look for virtues, to acknowledge them, and, in doing so, transform my world.
New York, United States
When I read this installment, I remembered a time when I was not feeling well due to some painful situations. During that time, people who knew me called and talked to me, offering their support. I experienced how their words worked like a balm, helping to ease the pain. I felt grateful to these people and thanked them for calling.
I recognized that, through these people and their efforts, I felt the presence of God. This reminded me of the Truth of this existence and taught me how to be humble with others. Since then, I have decided to be there for others whenever they need support because I understand how deeply it matters.
In life, there are moments when a person silently longs for someone to understand them. And in those moments, kind words can become, in my experience, a bridge between pain and peace, helping people to feel the love and the presence of God.
Khargone, India
I have always, often silently, tried my best to support people around me in their needs. There have been times when my sincere attempts to lend help, support, and guidance have not been recognized. This has sometimes made me feel bad.
Yet now, after hearing Gurumayi’s words, “When you plant the seed of goodness, it will eventually grow into a maha tree, a great tree,” I feel reassured that I need not worry too much about what others might think or how they might respond to my well-intentioned gestures. Instead, I can just be myself and carry on with my life. Now I also remind myself that I am sheltering under the cooling branches of a maha tree.
I am so grateful to Gurumayi for guiding me to uplift myself and overcome the limitations of my mind through her chaitanya words. From the first thing in the morning to the last thing at night, I am trying to seek and follow Gurumayi’s teachings in order to experience inner transformation and follow in the Guru’s footsteps.
Chitradurga, India
A few years ago, I began to feel like I wanted to express to some people in my life the radiant, happy, and warm feelings that I had about them. I wanted to share my love and appreciation for them, even if they weren’t particularly “close” to me. So, I thought about each individual—their talents, devotion, intelligence, kindness, or simply their way of being in the world—and how I felt enriched by those qualities and thankful for them.
At different times, I was able to articulate and communicate these feelings to a number of people, who almost always were surprised to hear about them. Some shared with me how it felt to hear those things, and then I was able to feel doubly blessed.
Some people never really responded. And I noticed that this didn’t decrease my joy and delight in any way. I knew something beautiful in me had unfolded toward them and that, one way or another, beauty would unfold further out and further on.
Massachusetts, United States
I am an introvert and have been very shy throughout most of my life. Now, however, I am finding that I often get an inner prompting to reach out to others. It may be to make a lighthearted comment to a fellow rider in an elevator, an acknowledgment of the pressure on the doctor’s receptionist on a busy morning, or an expression of appreciation for a sevite I’ve been working with. When I reach out, it feels as though I am extending a light to the other person and they shine the same light back.
It is a shared experience of joy.
Sydney, Australia
I have often marveled at how much Gurumayi expresses great love and care for us by showing so much interest in, and listening so intently to, our stories, with all the details about our lives that might seem “petty“ or unimportant to someone else.
The way Gurumayi gives everyone such attention has always been very inspiring to me. The person walking away after such a beautiful encounter has always looked to me like the happiest, most appreciated human being on this earth—and they surely were!
So now I want to put in the effort to do the same—really listening, giving my time and full attention without any judgment to the people around me, at work or in my family. This is a wonderful way to welcome and acknowledge them; it creates a deeper connection between us that makes them feel seen and appreciated.
Milan, Italy
In the days leading up to the satsang on Mahashivaratri, I had been experiencing a challenge with one of my friends. I had noticed that when I expressed my appreciation or care for them, they often had little to no reaction. Internally, I felt confused. On the one hand, I wanted to freely express the love I felt for them. On the other hand, I feared imposing on them, or being judged by my other friends for constantly expressing myself with little reciprocity.
When I heard Gurumayi ji speak on this topic, I felt it was the exact teaching I needed to hear. Hearing her describe how my words would come to my friend “at a time when they need them the most,” and how “the seed of goodness” would “eventually grow into a maha tree,” my confusion was eliminated. Instead, I was suffused with a sense of caring for my friend and deep surrender to, and love for, Gurumayi ji.
I am grateful to Gurumayi ji for always teaching me how to live my life with love and compassion.
Oakville, Canada
Reading Gurumayi’s words on “planting the seed of goodness,” I am reminded of a time when I decided to change my mind about withholding my love from my mother, who I had always thought was the cause of my unhappiness. So I went to a card shop and bought the floweriest, most beautiful and ornate card about love, knowing that she adored receiving cards on every occasion. And I signed it “With love.”
From that day forward, our telephone conversations took a very different turn. My mother stopped criticizing my life and I felt a little freer to share myself with her. The seed grew into “a great tree,” so that when she passed away, I no longer felt anything but love for my mother.
California, United States
I show my appreciation for others in various ways, quite spontaneously. A long time ago, while offering seva, I met a truly beautiful woman. She was so beautiful that I simply had to tell her how beautiful she was and that she reminded me of the Mona Lisa, the painting by Leonardo da Vinci. To my amazement, she thanked me profusely, as if she had never experienced such appreciation before.
Similarly, I love it when someone else offers appreciation spontaneously and from the heart, just like my boyfriend—who, out of the blue yesterday, gave me a chocolate ladybird with a kiss and said I was a “heart beetle.” Surprised, I asked, “Is that really true?” and he said, “Yes!”
That showed me that it is important to both give and receive genuine and sincere appreciation time and time again, because this appreciation fosters positive development and gives each person a sense of security and confidence.
Konolfingen, Switzerland
This teaching from Gurumayi—“If you feel true love for someone, it’s all right to tell them, ‘I love you. I have appreciation for you. I appreciate you’”—was one that stood out a lot for me in the Mahashivaratri satsang via live video stream. Gurumayi is such a bright example of this teaching, continuously telling us that we matter, that we are loved and appreciated for who we are.
It is so touching to be recognized in such a genuine way. As a result, I felt that God’s love has been pouring over my soul and that a sparkle was ignited in me, creating a longing to respond to this love with more love toward God and every creature on this planet.
Rome, Italy
By nature, I am an extrovert. I teach at a university, where I meet many students from different backgrounds. For me those differences don’t matter because I have learned to see in everyone the same Self that resides in my heart.
The subjects that I teach can be difficult to understand. After explaining a topic, I make sure that every student understands, even if it requires some individual conferences. When I see from their faces that my students have understood, I inwardly thank Gurumayi for her grace.
Similarly, I make an effort to share my inner state of joyfulness with other people through my words and actions. Helping an elderly person to cross the road feels like I am holding my mother’s hand. Regardless of the other person’s state or behavior, I make it a point to smile at them, greet them, and welcome them.
I am able to be in this state always, as I know Gurumayi is there in my heart.
Lucknow, India
When I started on the Siddha Yoga path several decades ago, I was shy, insecure, and self-conscious, and would avoid talking with strangers. Nowadays, it has become natural for me to greet my neighbors and even strangers when I am walking in places where people go for their morning walks (even when they do not always return my greeting).
At supermarkets, I have built relationships with the cashiers and the boys who help me with my groceries. I can now look them in the eye, acknowledge their presence, talk with them, and genuinely thank them. Often, when talking with strangers at restaurants or other places where I purchase something, I acknowledge their good service.
I am grateful for this transformation; it has given my life deeper meaning, and I experience more joy and love.
Willemstad, Curaçao
This installment parallels my experience in the past few years of becoming increasingly fearless about bringing my goodness to the world. In my younger years I was less confident and more self-conscious. Often, I didn’t feel confident stepping forward, speaking up, or making the effort to appreciate people and connect with them.
Now, in my late fifties, I see that, with practice and the increased confidence I’ve gained through sadhana and life experience, it has become natural for me to reach out in an effort to bring sweetness and connection to the people around me.
I found Gurumayi’s teaching—that, even if someone doesn’t respond right away, our words will “come to their aid at a time when they need them the most”—to be encouraging and affirming. People sometimes appear in my life who do not seem very open or friendly toward me. I’ve discovered it can be helpful for me to tone down my natural effusiveness, while still making the effort to continue to be me, to inwardly wish them well, and to offer sincere appreciation.
