Being with Silence

In 2002 I visited a series of prisons for the Prison Project. We’d chosen a segment of Gurumayi's Message talk, Abide in Silence, as a teaching to contemplate. The last satsang of the tour took place in the prison gym.
 
On arrival, I saw thirty men sitting in the bleachers of the basketball court. I set up the TV and welcomed everyone to the satsang. Just then, around two hundred other men entered the gym. Some started exercising to loud rap music, others shouted at a televised football game, and still others began a basketball game around me! The noise level was unbelievable!
 
When I learned there was no way we could move to another space, I put the video of Gurumayi on and asked everyone to watch. Inwardly, I prayed to Gurumayi for a resolution to this situation.
 
Then a miracle happened! A siren went off and the gym began to empty, leaving only me and my group. The silence created was profound. I asked everyone to close their eyes and feel the power of silence.
 
We’d traveled as a group from a cacophony of noise to true inner silence. It was the best satsang of the whole tour.
 

When I saw that in December we would contemplate words relating to silence, I immediately thought of verse 116 of Shri Guru Gita: “O Parvati, know that the nature of Brahman is beyond perception, beyond understanding,...and without sound.” And the next verse says, “As fragrance is natural in flowers,...so is Brahman eternal.” So Brahman, the Absolute, is “without sound” and “eternal.”
 
I then had the sensation of going deeply into these words. As a musician, I have always been very aware of the contrast between sounds and silence, between playing notes and sitting out “rests” as I play in the orchestra. But I also love to just stand by a body of water for a long time, listening to its gorgeous sounds. And I am deeply enchanted with the utter silence I experience in going outside whenever there is a blanket of snow.
 
Because silence is eternal, it gives me a glimpse of the state of Brahman.
 

At that time I was alone at home, as my husband was visiting Gurudev Siddha Peeth for a few weeks. We lived in an old castle on the outskirts of a small town. The old building frequently made noises, the wind whistled through the cracks, and the roof beams creaked. During my husband’s absence, it was deepest winter and our town was covered with a thick blanket of snow. 
 
When I sat down to dinner one evening, I noticed that there was absolute silence around me. The only noises I could perceive were my own eating noises. After I had finished my meal, I sat quietly for a while and enjoyed this absolute silence. As I did so, I directly experienced what Gurumayi had given us in her Message for 2002 as a focus for the new year, and immersed myself deeply in the experience of silence.
 

Every morning, I wait with great anticipation to see Gurumayi's newest gift emerge from the water. When I finally see it—“Ahhhh!” The recognition takes place. It is the face of my old friend, my best friend. Joy and courage spread throughout my being. 
 

On November 30, I set my intention for December to be a focus on silence; it felt like an unbreakably strong wish. I told myself, “Let's learn silence. Let my all senses learn to rest in silence.” And I prayed for Guru’s grace to help me fulfill this intention.
 
Then on December 1, I sat for meditation and conducted a mental puja. Inwardly I went to the Temple in Shree Muktananda Ashram, offered jasmine from Gurudev Siddha Peeth to Bade Baba, and then sat before Gurumayi silently, in deep meditation.
 
After my actual meditation concluded, I opened up the Siddha Yoga path website—and was astonished to find “Being with Silence”! I felt a strong connection with Gurumayi ji. I immediately read the Introduction, then went to the first word related to silence. Noiselessness filled my entire being. Although my mind was holding many different thoughts, there wasn't any noise in between. I was silence, I was noiselessness.
 
I understood that Siddha Yoga meditation is the abode of silence—a real, perfect support for silence.
 

I received the gift of “Being with Silence” with two hands. Throughout the day I kept going back to the theme of silence. During my morning meditation I realized that when I trust God, the Guru, myself, and others in my world, I experience more silence. My mind is not so busy because I know that all is well and I am always being guided and protected.
 
On various occasions during work I would take a moment to connect with the inner silence. In moments like this I can feel how I give my mind, body, and my whole being a respite from the tension I often carry unconsciously.
 

I love living in the Pacific Northwest because we have so much rain. Rain is so soothing to me. It has a deep, peaceful, calming energy to it. It makes the air so fresh to breathe too. I love the smell of rain; its fresh pure scent is so alive. Being in the woods during a soft rain is so calming. My mind is still and peaceful. It’s a natural meditation.
 

One day in December 2020, I felt the need to be in silence from deep within myself. And so for a year now, I’ve been learning to practice silence. I am very fortunate that where I live at home, I have the time and opportunity to be with myself for hours. I have started to listen to silence every day.
 
As time goes by, my spirit rejoices in that deep silence which nurtures my soul and gives me peace of mind. Sometimes I feel ecstatic in the sense of expansion arising from being silent. Often I sit in my meditation chair in front of my puja with my murti of Bade Baba, relishing the company of my Guru. This seems to me to be a place that is “out of time,” where everything that's not necessary simply loses significance.